August Of 1971 To Now – ‘The Before’ Story

‘Friends of Helen’,

Now that our official ‘Giving Thanks’ Day of 2023 is behind us, I’m in a reminiscing mode.

At Some point at Sowmini’s place, our conversation evolved into how we all met ‘the Men Of Our Dreams’ in assorted Suriyani ways.

As I mentioned then, I had recanted part of my story this past August for our Carmel Mar Thoma hiking buddies.

I can’t help it, I feel obligated to forward it one more time just in case you missed any of my details. 😉

At the Thanksgiving Table two days ago, Nisha had all of us briefly tell the family what it was that we were thankful for.

As will be no surprise to any of you, I said, ‘I’m thankful that Appi is my husband’. Just four words.

To which, Nisha replied, ‘Yeah, Mum, you hit the jackpot’.

Hope we’re all thankful for the leftovers and much more.

Thank you, Joy and Sowmini, for having us all over for food and fun, and most of all to spend quality time with Helen and Chintu during the Holiday Crush.

Happy Advent Season everyone…Read on for the cut and paste from three months ago.…

Mercy

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August 19, 2023

Achen and Hiking buddies,

During our Saturday outing, which happened to coincide with our 52^nd Wedding Anniversary, I was asked by Achen, if there was any one thing that stood out in my mind or experiences over these decades of our marriage. Out in the open space, I had a brain freeze and I couldn’t think of one. it’s difficult to encapsulate fifty-two years into one snippet.

Then once back home, and the sea breeze must have cleared my cerebrum, something dawned upon me, and I was like, why didn’t I think of this then? So, This is an addendum to the piece I wrote two years ago.

Ok, back to when my father ‘found’ this ‘boy’ that I did mention at the park.

So my father made plans to go to Pallipad to check out this new ‘proposal’ with this relative of my father-in-law (Achayan used to call this relative Aliyan), who was from Kattanam. Mavan knew both families and is the one who connected the two.

The two fathers were classmates, and when first told, the tale is that Papaji asked Mavan, ‘Baby-ku engane oru mon undo’?

Mavan, on his own and unbeknownst to my father, had given Achayan, my father-in-law, a specific time that the ‘guests’ would be arriving.

And the guests were late.

My father who’s never been late for anything in his entire life, (and I can firmly attest to this), was late that day. The ‘why’ of this is another story.

Let’s proceed. So Achayan, when the visitors didn’t show at the expected time, requested his second son, my husband, the ‘Cherukan’ in this story, to go to ‘Illathe Purayidam’ and oversee the Puli harvest. The Puli has to be harvested at its peak. This Kudam Puli tree is so huge it produces enough for the family for a year’s worth and then some.

The family used to sell the Puli after processing, a method in and of itself, and store it in this giant earthenware vessel called a ‘Cheena Bharani’, truly an antique of Chinese origin.

Legend has it that is was introduced to Southern India by Marco Polo on one of his voyages between China and Italy where India was his wayward station. This Bharani is now in our sister Laly’s Ernakulam flat.

So back to the Puli. While the ‘boy’ was in ‘Illum’, my Dad showed up at the Kochupurackal house with Mavan.

The two classmates cheerfully renewed their friendship from over fifty years prior, from the M.T. Seminary Boarding School in Kottayam and then their Trivandrum College days.

After the preliminary niceties were done with, the harvest was still going on, so Achayan dispatched Kuttan, his ‘go-to’ guy, to go and fetch whom Kuttan used to call ‘Thampi Thampuran’. (A bit of a reminder of the first chapters of ‘The Covenant Of Water’ where Shamuel addresses the ‘Thamp’ran’).

My husband left supervising the Puli project for the time, came home, and met my Dad.

It was ‘love at first sight’. For my Dad.

Papaji took to this prospective son-in-law like a duck takes to water.

Chief among the factors that drew him was, if this guy would go and manage this menial and physical ‘krishi’ work after graduating from a professional college, then it must mean he’s not shy of hard work no matter how lowly the work is, then he’ll work hard and take care of my little girl, too, for sure.

To this Math guy, who studied Trigonometry and Advanced Calculus in college, this made perfect sense, right?

What part of it don’t you understand?

Subsequently as he was relating this to me with gleeful eyes, I was thinking, who cares about this, as long as he looks like Shashi Kapoor (thanks, Neena 😊) and dresses like him too. 😁

Moral of the story: God had a plan. The plan included my Dad being late to this auspicious occasion.

All the principals in this story, Achayan, Papaji, Kuttan, all gone now, even the big ‘Illathe purayidam’ and the Puli maram, and Gosh, the ‘Kochupurackal Veedu’ itself.

But this recall remains vivid and forever etched.

Betsy, see what you started? I’m sure you’re sorry you asked. 😉

Needless to say, Saturday was a splendid day, thank you all for making it so and marking it our day. You guys are the best.

Thanks for the food, the Dunkin’, all of it.

Until next time…

Mercy

 “For since the creation of the world, God’s invisible qualities – his eternal power and divine nature – have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made.” Romans 1:20 NIV

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Family: The Manifestation of God’s Kingdom – Vanitha Bodhini October 2023

Almost three months ago, sometime in the middle of July, I got a call from Noby Byju, the Secretary for the Mar Thoma Church Diocese of North America and Europe Sevika Sangham.

Noby and I had become, first acquaintances and then friends, through my stint as the Secretary of the Carmel Sevika Sangham.  

Noby wanted to see if I would be willing to contribute a devotional piece to the October edition of Vanitha Bodhini, the monthly publication of the Sabha Sevika Sangham Kendram Office in Thiruvalla.  

The October edition was designated in full to be written by members of the 66 North American Parishes of the Diocese.  

Since it involved only writing and not speaking, and I was given adequate time to prepare, I readily accepted.  

The assigned title for the devotion was Family: Manifestation of God’s Kingdom.  

There was a 1400-word limit and I clocked in at 1350 (always testing the limit 😊) and promptly submitted my segment by the deadline of September 1.  

Below is what I submitted after many personal prayers and serious deliberation. The Word Of God is like an oasis in the middle of a desert.  

Each thought is from the heart. I know it’s long, however, if any of it touches you in any way, I’d love to hear about it.  

The two graphics (top and bottom left) were inserted by the editors. I love it. 

No words in my arsenal would suffice in acknowledging my bestie tech support, Sheba Oommen.
Thursday Shalom… 

Mercy

Word For The Day

Something of a different tune this time.

Below is a devotional piece i wrote.

i was asked to do this by Denny Achen, our Vicar, for the Mar Thoma Church’s Diocesan initiative of a daily publishing called ‘Word For The Day’.

He asked for it a long time ago. And I declined for the sole reason that I didn’t feel worthy of the task. i didn’t feel spiritually mature to take it on. Not to mention, somebody is going to say, ‘who is she to preach to us’? i told Achen exactly so. And I left it at the time.

But I also said to myself, if Achen accepts my refusal, then that would be it. But if he came back with the request a second time, then that’s ‘The Plan’ and I’ll take it on.

Guess what? He did.

First time around, it was a Psalm that I couldn’t make heads or tails out of, King David is lamenting throughout all the psalms about his misfortunes. And I have my own worries to take care of, let alone David’s.

The second time, Achen gave me a passage from The Book of Exodus. This time I felt I was ready.

For someone who believes that God chose Israel to be his special beacon for the world, it was like someone served me with my special cup of tea.

In the end, it was an incredibly positive experience, I learned so much, got more than I gave. (Sounds a cliché, but true).

If it touches you in any way, I’d love to hear about it. Every word is from the heart.

Wish you a good evening…

Mercy

CHRISTIAN EDUCATION FORUM WORD for the DAY – Lord: Worthy of Adoration Exodus 15:1-18 Mercy Mariam Koshy Carmel MTC, Boston MA “2. The Lord is my strength and my might, and he has become my salvation; this is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him.” This passage, titled the ‘Song of Moses’, is the first of many songs recorded in our Scripture. Moses received God’s call and his ordination on top of the Sinai. Hampered with a speech impediment, Moses initially didn’t feel worthy of taking on the enormous task of leading the charge of His people’s deliverance. Although at first reluctant, Moses accepts this call, and to put this into any sort of perspective, relieving a whole people from the bondage of earth’s most powerful man, the Pharaoh, who among us would similarly trust God and venture forth? God, in His omnipotence, used a flawed man like Moses to fulfill His plan. Israel’s children had completed their mission in Mizraim, staving off a great famine, and erecting tall structures to Pharaoh’s orders. Time had come for them to return to Canaan to serve as a beacon for the world. The crossing of the Red Sea is one of the most spectacular events in human history, and one that changed its course. Scientists, in their efforts to find a ‘human’ explanation for this providential event – they don’t deny it happened – have discovered evidence that the Red Sea floor is formed as ‘hills and valleys’. During a low tide if the wind blows heavily, or in a certain direction, enough land would clear so people can walk on the dry elevated part. But that’s not the singular point here. This  occurred when Moses put his implicit trust in, and cried out to, the One who spoke to him from the burning bush – a bush that was burning, without being consumed. Subsequently, the water receded, not so that Pharaoh’s army will perish – it did – but to prevent them from destroying the Israelites. ‘Drawn from the waters’ of the Nile, Moses led his people through the waters of the Red Sea. Just imagining the event in the fullness of God’s glory can make one tremble. That God is worthy of our glorification. The God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Moses is our God, and will deliver us from our errant ways. But that’s not all. Verse 13 says: “faithful to your promise, you led the people you had rescued; by your strength, you guided them to your sacred land. After shepherding us to still waters, God doesn’t leave us hanging; He’s ready to see us through to the end. He brought us to the edge of the sea; He’ll help us cross it. Before we petition for our array of needs (Supplication), before we offer thanks for His blessings (Thanksgiving), before we confess our many wrongdoings (Confession), we must praise the one true God (Adoration). ACTS. We might ask why God demands so much of our Adoration? He is God, after all. But when we praise and worship Him, we’re not succumbing to His ‘demands’, rather, we’re acknowledging our awe of His presence, and are completely surrendering to His power while giving up ours. PRAYER: Our Almighty Father in heaven, Your name shall be hallowed; Because Yours is the kingdom and all the powers, and all the glory for all that’s on earth. Amen. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: “I have shown your glory on earth; I have finished the work you gave me to do.” John 17:4 Everything we’re called to do, and all what we accomplish with our skills and talents, are by and for the glory of God. Copyright © *2014* *Diocese of North America & Europe of the Mar Thoma Church,* All rights reserved. *Word for the Day* *Christian Education Forum* Our mailing address is: *cefwordfortheday@gmail.com|*   update subscription preferences

The Death Of A Washing Machine

Recently, Sheryl Julian, one of the Food Section Opinion writers of the Boston Globe, wrote a whole lengthy piece about her 6-burner gas stove, which died after 25 years, and, by her count, countless, like 1000, chicken dinners.

I read it with great interest because among other facts, Sheryl writes in an amusing way.

However, by the end of it I was thinking, this girl has nothing on me. 😉

Let me explain. Not in the way of cooking or writing. But in the way of our literally 51-year old Whirlpool Washing Machine.

Where do I begin?

Long ago, in November of 1972 to be exact, (OK, go ahead and calculate our ages!), we were expecting our first born.

This was back in the day when Neanderthals like us were using wash-and-reuse cloth diapers. Pampers disposables were just arriving onto the market with much fanfare, but me being me, won’t think of using disposable. 🤦‍♂️

So for a newborn baby, we need a washing machine to wash the diapers, right?

So we went to Lechmere (Does anyone remember that store name?) in Somerville MA,  and purchased a Whirlpool, the brand to be had in those days, you guessed it, in Avocado Green.

Now the Millennials are wondering, what is that?

But even as the magnificent instrument washed diapers of our three girls, by the time our third and the youngest was born, nobody was using cloth diapers, NO ONE except me, of course. 😊

The green Whirlpool has since made the trek from Huntington Avenue, Boston to,

Main Street, Watertown to,

Milner Street, Waltham to,

Pelham Island Road Sudbury, where a couple of weeks ago, it met with an untimely but peaceful passing.

These 50 and a half years were not uneventful, however.

At some point, I believe about ten years ago, it had some problem, don’t ask me what it was, I think it was not pumping out water or something minor (!) like it.

And I called my most reliable repairman, my husband.

Now you have not met a Mechanical Engineer until you have met my husband. I mean, don’t even think of arguing with me on that one. 😉

Our out-of-town girls (and the boys, too, I must say) have a ‘list’ all ready whenever we visit, ‘Appi, can you fix this, can you look at what’s going on with this thing’?

Of course, this guy who loves to tinker, is all over it right away. Henry Ford has nothing on him.

Anyway, back to the story. Where it was not pumping water.

He examined it for a whole while and figured out the problem, but in order to fix it, he needs to reach the innards where no human has ever been, and no easy way to accomplish this, and an outside repairman was out of the question, so he promptly proceeded to cut the outer metal of this 40-year old contraption weighing at least a ton using a saw 🤦‍♂️, and reached the part that was the source of the problem and voila! It was ‘fixed’.

Now you know about me and tech, so I’m not going to elaborate on what he did lying on his back, toiling, while I was joyfully reading the Boston Globe crouched on our leather couch.

As a natural course of events, in spite of his best attempts and our care, recently something happened, and there was no life support available this time. None. The End.

We bid adieus and the machine was hauled away by some nice guys.

I’m attaching some pictures for your pleasure, as well as to prove to you I’m not making this up. You couldn’t even if you tried. 😊

The men who took it away, as well as the salesperson at Home Depot, who weren’t even born when this instrument was manufactured, told us without any equivocation, ‘they don’t make them like they used to’.

Of course we know this. Sad state of American manufacturing. Not only, ‘don’t make them like they used to’, they just don’t manufacture in America, period.

The Rust Belt that used to be Ohio, Pennsylvania and Michigan is just that, not the Rust Belt. The Rust Belt has rusted out. 😢

Happy Summer Solstice, everyone…

Sophia Marie Cocchiarella – Now and Then

June 5, 2022

An Ode to our ‘Firstborn’ ‘Grand’ Daughter:

One picture. One thousand words. A million bucks.

One Kuttene. One Appi. Only one of each.

She named him. Then.

Red gown. Blue sky. White dress.

Hot sun. Cool graduate.

It was the fifth day of the sixth month. In the Year Of Our Lord Twenty twenty-two. Now.

And God saw that it was good.

God Is Good. He also smiled in His Abode.

May the wings of eagles hover above you, Soph Kuttan, as you spread yours.

May you be on solid footing as you trek:

From home to dorm.

From Suburban Metro-West Massachusetts to Rural Central Maine.

From Holliston to Lewiston. From Holliston High School to Bates College.

Hand on heart.

“But those who trust in the Lord for help will find their strength renewed. They will rise on wings like eagles;” Isaiah 40:31

❤ and 🤗 and 🙏

Ammi

My Mother

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State Of The Sangham

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: .. A time to embrace and a time to refrain, …” Ecclesiastes 3:1,5 (NIV)

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Friends of Carmel Sevika Sangham,

This is it folks, time for a New Season. And to hand the books over to another band of leadership and fresh talent.

• (Without having to say, and for what it’s worth, this is not a Carmel Sevika Sangham email, as you’re used to seeing my name popping up under that banner, as you’ll also notice my signage is not given at the bottom.)

With all the words I have at my disposal, (searched all through Webster’s) I can’t find the appropriate ones to thank you for the tangible support and intangible love you showered upon me for the past three years.

I couldn’t have done a bit of it without that. I’m sure you know that.

To a set of parents who instilled in me a love of the Scripture as Inspired and Eternal, at an early age: This Is For You.

And to my husband, my rock.

What was supposed to be a one-year stint (really!), turned into three.

The COVID-19 pandemic, and Vicar transfer, and the Joe Biden travel ban that caused an undue delay in Sujith Achen’s arrival, all were factors.

As in the saying, ‘Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” In this case, God made other Plans. And God is good.

Having served as the Vice President of this organization for two years (under KC Varughese Achen and then Sam Achen), and subsequently as the Cottage Prayer-coordinator for four (from Sam Achen’s tenure  to Manoj Achen’s), I have always been committed to the role Sevika Sangham plays in the lives of our Church’s women, women getting together with just Achen, and studying God’s Word in depth. 

So this, in that context, was a natural transition.

However, Unequivocally, I can claim, that the net positive out of this role for me, was getting to know a whole bunch of you in a new and an intimate way. And it was all good.

Acquaintances became fast friends, and better yet, girls younger than our youngest daughter, (and wiser than me 😊) turned dispensers of sage advice.

Tech plays a big part in how any institution operates, and our Church was no exception.

I sought help in certain ideas-implementation from so many of our girls, calling them at all hours, ‘how do I do this, and how can I change that, yeah, but I’d like it to be done this other way’, they graciously always answered the calls.

I guess the stuff I was asking help with was what they would do to relax during break. 😁

God Bless each one of you and your children. I will refrain from naming.

At the Church office-bearers’ installation service, Achen has all the office bearers come up to the front for prayer and blessings.

I took this exercise seriously. I hope I did right by the silent Pledge Of Office I took to do what was right in the eyes of God.

Part of that was making a deliberate attempt to be all-inclusive as much as the circumstances allowed me, my paper address books (me being electronic-averse) fell apart and had to be replaced twice.

On Sunday, February 9, 2020, I stood to the right of Thomas John Achen, precisely where I was standing next to Sujith Achen this past Sunday at the GB meet, and as I was accepting my new-found role, I asked for one thing.

My mother, who was my prayer champion, was no longer around.

It used to be that, whenever I embarked on any project, say, cooking for a large group, Amma (who was staying with me off and on) would, without telling me, go into another room and pray. Now, she knew fully well I knew how to make a ‘meen vevichathu’. But that was never the point.

After she died, I used to sadly wonder, ‘who’s going to pray for me like that?’

On that date, I asked all those present there, all of about a dozen or fifteen of us: I said, ‘in the absence of my mother, it’s you who’ll have to pray for me’. And I’m sure they did. It was felt.

Thank you and prayers back.

I consider it my high privilege to have been able to work closely with Sujith Achen for almost a year and a half. Although I’m sure he won’t miss my incessant questions and calls.

Saji Varghese, the new secretary, is an answer to my prayer. I’m certain she’ll help us write new chapters; with support from every single one of our 103 members. And I’ll be her biggest cheerleader.

Maya, (and Viji, too), hope I didn’t let you down. ❤

Godspeed, everyone.

Offering thanks with a Humble Heart to a Mighty God,

(Just 😁) Mercy

From Rameshwaram To Lanka

This lock-down, shutdown, shut-off, staying away, staying put, isolation, or the Quarantine-state-of-being, is beginning to make me feel the symptoms of quarantine-itis, isolated, shut off, shut down, separation anxiety-driven, Q-fatigued, and altogether not with it, and downright out of it.

This doldrums led me to pondering about the Universe and its underpinnings, which many have strongly advised me not to do, but I did it anyway. 😉

And I stumbled upon an existential question. Please allow me to pose it to you.

If you were born in the Indian subcontinent, and did at least part of your schooling there, you would know this:

That the Great Sage Valmiki wrote the great epic Ramayanam, in the icy elevation of the Himalayan ranges, high over the beautiful Kashmir Valley, in 1500 BC, at the peak of the flourishing epoch of the Indus Valley Civilization.

The volume is very long. (‘where were you all this time? reading Ramayanam?’ you may have heard echoes of this.)

It is written in Sanskrit. My own positing, based on zero empirical data, is that Valmiki may have been a Kashmiri Pundit. 🙂

Now, Kashmir is up in the very northern sphere of the Subcontinent. Without going into reciting the whole Puranam, let me get right to the heart of my question.

Ok, Sri Ram, the central character in the Vedam, was in exile in the forest. Long story in and of itself.

Sita, His beautiful wife, who was the ‘colour of gold’ according to a poem I had to memorize in elementary (swarna varnathe poonda mythili manohari), was literally kidnapped, possibly because of her ethereal beauty, by the great giant of a king, Ravanan of Lanka.

(Sita took a ‘step out of line’ against strict orders not to, crossed the ‘Lakshmana Rekha’, ‘took a bite out of the apple’ so to speak, another long story in the making).

And she was transported to Lanka where Ravanan reigned supreme.

I’m sure you’re still with me.

So now Ram, who missed his wife beyond measure, devised a plan to rescue Sita from the clutches of the evil one, and safely bring her back.

This he would do, with the help of his favorite companion, Hanuman, the monkey God.

So the only thorniness to all this is, there is this ocean sitting between the two lands.

So Ram and Hanuman, with the help of the mighty chipmunk, (yes, even this small critter’s contribution was notably validated by his Master, Sri Ram), set out to build a Causeway between the southeastern-most point of India and the western-most part of Lanka.

So far, so good.

That ‘tip’ or point is today known as Ram-eshwaram, which is located in the Tamil Nadu State of India.

This is where the intrigue starts.

My question: how did Valmiki, who is doing ‘Thapas’,(retreating from worldly affairs), up in the North, way up in the high ranges of the Himalayas, 1500 miles from Kanyakumari, or,

Ram, whose kingdom extended in and beyond Ayodhya, again in the Northern Indian State of Uttar Pradesh,

know back in 1500 BC,

that the shortest point between these two terminuses would be Rameshwaram, which is jutting out into the Indian Ocean?

Did they have GPS? Compass? Google Maps? Telescope? AAA atlas? 😊

Please conjure up and send me your answer. It can be Earthly or Otherworldly or Vedic.

I’ll compile them into anther follow-up blog (don’t sigh!) without, of course, revealing my ‘sources’.

The one giving my favourite answer would get a palaharam from me.

There will be no incorrect answers.

Stay distanced, masked, safe, well, happy, and above all in a Supreme God’s care…

Mercy

Merry Christmas and A Happy Year 2023

“The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call Him Immanuel”. Matthew 1:23 (NIV) – AD 1

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Shepherds in an open field. Unsuspecting and Uneducated.

Poor. Illiterate.

Exposed to the elements. Right next door.

Came to them, An Angel.

Kings from another Continent. From far away.

Rich. Smart. Educated.

Purveyor of Cosmic signs.

Came to them, A Star.

All Listening, Seeking. Searching, Following.

Paupers and Princes. Offered themselves. Or the Best that money can buy.

All journeying.

From Different Stations, to the Same Destination.

From Green Pastures and Gilded Palaces:

To a Cowshed. In a City named for a King.

 To a Child nearby a community that couldn’t house Him.

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One man, One woman.

Disobedient. Sinful in paradise.

Led to sinfulness of Humankind.

Another Woman. Another Man.

Obedient. Led to the Sinless One.

Manifested in Salvation of Humankind.

“Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.” Isaiah 7:14 (NIV) – 500 BC

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From Law to Love.

The Law Is: To Love.

For, Love Is God.

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May we hear Angels’ Voices this Christmas, and see the Starlight that illuminates our paths in 2023 …

Striking Gold – A Golden Anniversary

Fifty years ago today, I said ‘Yes’.  To my father.

He had ‘fallen in love’ with a ‘boy’, where it was ‘Love At First Sight’. For my father.

Let me narrate to you how it all unfolded.

My dad, without any embellishment, was singularly the most efficient man I have ever known. To claim he was meticulous and disciplined would be grossly inadequate.

His attention to details would be the envy of a twenty-first century CEO. Executing innovative ideas was his exceptional talent.

But being perceptive about people and their character, was not one of his strengths.

This one time however, took an exception. He was right on the money about this ‘boy’ he found.

It’s been one heck of a journey, that even this girl with a penchant for talking can’t seem to find the adequate words to define. Can’t even locate a Shakespeare quote to fit. 😉

What can I say? It’s been Golden.

So Papaji was presenting this idea to me, of this so-called ‘boy’ he found.

I can still envisage the twinkle in his eyes. Even if you can’t see his whole face, you could tell he was smiling behind those (John Lennon-famous) wire-rimmed glasses, and through the crinkles in the corners of his eyes.

I think I mentally said ‘yes’ at that point. Seriously, who would want to dim that view? Extinguish that light? Really.

Further details that emerged in the subsequent days disclosed, this ‘boy’, most significantly an engineering graduate, was the son of a classmate from the famed MT Seminary Boarding School in Kottayam, a celebrated Mar Thoma Boys’ Boarding School of that era, from some 45 years prior and later as hostel-mates in Trivandrum, as well as the nephew of a former parishioner (Kuruvillachayan) who was a most respected and loved right-hand man.

In the ensuing days, all the prescribed steps were followed to a T. My family was famous for following all the ‘Mamools’ of the day.

The date was set for this ‘boy’ and his immediate family to visit.

So that Day, Thursday August 5, 1971 arrived.

Not with that much pomp or circumstance.

Well, Amma made her usual and customary snacks, but what stood out conspicuously was, the palpable exhilaration on the faces of, my Dad, somewhat in my mother, a lot in my sister, some in my nonchalant little brother, (not the least by any means, Kutti Moopathi, who was peeking from behind the Adukala to see this one who’s coming to see Mercy Mol), but most of all my precious 88-year old grandfather.

Apachen was in his rattan chair (choora kasera) with a Bible in his lap, a most familiar sight to those who knew him, the Bible with the enlarged script that my Dad had gifted him with. He needed that and an additional magnifying glass to read the two materials he read every day. His Bible and the Malayala Manorama.

At 88, this retired Estate Department Manager of a British Company, called Darragh Smail & Company (India) Pvt. LTD. headquartered in Alapuzha, never missed either.

Yes, Apachen was reading and praying. That this most ‘Suitable Boy’ would marry his most favourite grand, well, may be the second most favourite after my brother, who was the apple of his eye and his ‘heir’.

Looking back, Apachen’s prayer saved; I’ll never stop believing in the Power Of Prayer.

Now, my thirty five first cousins from my father’s side might contest this claim about me being Apachen’s ‘favourite’, but not in a million about his ‘reading’.

So, August 5. Afternoon. Big Day One.

One by one the family walked in.

In my semi-nervous element, I was excepting, this dashing guy, somewhat resembling Shashi Kapoor 😁, and in came this one with a simple button-down shirt and a mundu, and looking indescribably modest, and I was like, what?

When you’re 21, ‘simple’ is not what you’re after, right?

Moving on to the bright side: His family; I liked right away, especially his father, utmost dignified and principled to a fault, and I was right on that assessment. I liked his mother, brother and brother’s wife. I mean, at that point, what’s there to halt it, in the ancient Suriyani model, right?

Besides, I had a sister who just simply couldn’t wait any further to see her Mercama, (who was ‘old’ and getting on further in age 😁) get married. One has to appreciate growing up without an older brother to get this, and she was just ‘dying’ for that older brother she never had.

My (real) brother, for his part, I think he was just happy to shed his role as ‘the only son’.

So, it was ‘arranged’.

In the midst of this charged setting, my father didn’t consider asking his daughter, the ‘prospective bride’, (that would be me), about her ‘approval’.

I mean, a simple, ‘Do you like the boy?’ Until my future father-in-law prompted him, ‘perhaps you need to find out if your ‘Mol’ is agreeable to this arrangement?’

In his excited haste, He had overlooked that minor detail. 😁

So, my Dad asked. And I said, YES.

My daughters are like, you just saw him, and said ‘yes’? Well, deep under, I think, they understand the dynamics and this ethos better than we give them credit for. Besides, they’re just glad Appi married Ammi.

And Mathews Athanasius Thirumeni, who insisted on conducting the wedding of his grand-niece Kunjamma’s daughter, did.

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Nisha. Yamini. Mekhala. This is for you.

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So what made it Gold? A metal that never loses its luster?

On this day, Thursday August 19, 1971, Big Day Two, (Day Three, if you count the Engagement on August 12), I married the kindest, most considerate human I have ever known.

I have not known anyone, nor will I ever, this unselfish; one who puts others’ needs ahead of his own.

That’s just for starters.

“How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count The Ways” – Elizabeth Barrett Browning; Sonnet 43; 1844

–First, family, (all family), comes first, ahead of friends, (sorry, friends).

Our daughter Yamini once exclaimed, in response to something, Dad isn’t Dad if he isn’t putting his family first.

To Our three girls, Appi is, well, they think Appi ‘Walks On Water’.

–And here’s what mostly no one knows. Not even Church folks. Nor Achens.

In fifty years, I have never seen my husband turning in for the night, or waking up to start the day, without saying a prayer, sitting at the edge of his bed, head bent.

A sight that holds true, whatever corners of the earth we’re in.

Whether we’re in Siem Reap or Seattle. Sudbury or Shanghai. Budapest or Chenkulam. Kattanam or Cairo. Paris or Pallipad. Minneapolis or Nairobi.

To the chagrin of all my beloved vicars who have come and gone, we’re not in pews every Sunday, and when we do show up, we occupy seats in the back row, perhaps even appearing a bit uninvolved, but unbeknownst to them, this habit never, ever, wavered. And now you all know.

–Church or no Church, he follows The Commandment, as given in all four Gospels, to ‘Forgive’; and as in Matthew’s Gospel, ‘Seven Times Seventy’.

The guy doesn’t know the meaning of the word ‘grudge’. Perhaps this trait is rubbing off on all those in close proximity. 😉

-Engineering-precise in everything he undertakes, an engineer’s engineer, you’d love to see him park between 2 cars in the grocery store lot, exactly one foot from the lines on both sides. Sometimes I want to jump out of the car watching it. (Still haven’t done it, thankfully, I’m still alive to write about it.)  😉 Nor have you seen the black book he keeps with all the home Blood Pressure readings for the both of us. 🤦‍♂️

–To add, and known perhaps only to our girls, he’s the family Accountant, the Money Changer in the household (gives me spending money 😁), Financial broker, Tech expert, the fix and repair guy.

–Apostle Paul said, ‘Love Is Patient’. If this is true, this guy is Love.

-Never sits still for a daytime minute.

–Through it all, and in spite of it, he remains the most unassuming person God ever placed on the planet. What you see is what you get.

–And here’s the best-kept secret: there’s nothing I can, or would do, in this household, without him being there, not behind, but right there, with me, every step of the way.

‘Does this taste right?’ ‘Does it need more salt?’ ‘How many pounds should I buy for the function?’ ‘Can you proof-read this letter to the Sevika Sangham? And oh, did I mention, I need it done right away?’. 😁

–Oh, and I almost forgot, and what drives me nuts, all the, ‘Do you have to react this way?’, ‘Why are you getting so needlessly agitated about it?’, ‘Oh, come on, they didn’t mean it like that’, ‘Don’t take it so personal’, ‘It’s not a big deal’, etc., that I’m subjected to every day, and most recently, ‘I want you to read Markosinte Suvishesham 11:24 and 25’. 😢 I did.

Oh, never mind. It’ll be two pages-full if I continued. 😁

And you want to know who affirms this? Our three daughters. They know, more than anyone, that Appi is the anchor who holds this family ship straight and upright.

It is said that people born under the zodiac sign of Gemini, are easy to get along with, because, as twins, they share a space before they enter the world. If this is in fact true, my husband is a true Gemini.

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We took each other. We had and we held. We’ve had sickness, and we’ve had mostly health. We’ve never been rich, and we’ve never been poor.

With The Love Of My Life.

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On Thursday, August 19, 1971, following the Ancient Indian Jyothish practice, the five members of my immediate family traveled in four separate cars, up National Highway 47 going North,

and as I stepped out of the white Standard Herald that belonged to my first cousin Rajachayan, all clad in white, onto the courtyard of The Pallipad Mar Thoma Cheriya-palli,

my Dad gave me a kiss on my forehead (and that crinkle I described earlier was at its peak),

and said within earshot of Rajachayan, Gracekochama, my most loved cousin Anniemama, and my sister Shanti, all those who were in the car with me:

‘Mercy Makkale! Daivum Mole Anugrahi-katte’.

You and Amma can smile now, Papaji. He did. Thank Him for me up close and personal.

And by the way, you were right on both counts. 😉

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“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work. If they fall, one will lift up his companion.” Ecclesiastes 4:9 NKJV