August Of 1971 To Now – ‘The Before’ Story

‘Friends of Helen’,

Now that our official ‘Giving Thanks’ Day of 2023 is behind us, I’m in a reminiscing mode.

At Some point at Sowmini’s place, our conversation evolved into how we all met ‘the Men Of Our Dreams’ in assorted Suriyani ways.

As I mentioned then, I had recanted part of my story this past August for our Carmel Mar Thoma hiking buddies.

I can’t help it, I feel obligated to forward it one more time just in case you missed any of my details. 😉

At the Thanksgiving Table two days ago, Nisha had all of us briefly tell the family what it was that we were thankful for.

As will be no surprise to any of you, I said, ‘I’m thankful that Appi is my husband’. Just four words.

To which, Nisha replied, ‘Yeah, Mum, you hit the jackpot’.

Hope we’re all thankful for the leftovers and much more.

Thank you, Joy and Sowmini, for having us all over for food and fun, and most of all to spend quality time with Helen and Chintu during the Holiday Crush.

Happy Advent Season everyone…Read on for the cut and paste from three months ago.…

Mercy

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August 19, 2023

Achen and Hiking buddies,

During our Saturday outing, which happened to coincide with our 52^nd Wedding Anniversary, I was asked by Achen, if there was any one thing that stood out in my mind or experiences over these decades of our marriage. Out in the open space, I had a brain freeze and I couldn’t think of one. it’s difficult to encapsulate fifty-two years into one snippet.

Then once back home, and the sea breeze must have cleared my cerebrum, something dawned upon me, and I was like, why didn’t I think of this then? So, This is an addendum to the piece I wrote two years ago.

Ok, back to when my father ‘found’ this ‘boy’ that I did mention at the park.

So my father made plans to go to Pallipad to check out this new ‘proposal’ with this relative of my father-in-law (Achayan used to call this relative Aliyan), who was from Kattanam. Mavan knew both families and is the one who connected the two.

The two fathers were classmates, and when first told, the tale is that Papaji asked Mavan, ‘Baby-ku engane oru mon undo’?

Mavan, on his own and unbeknownst to my father, had given Achayan, my father-in-law, a specific time that the ‘guests’ would be arriving.

And the guests were late.

My father who’s never been late for anything in his entire life, (and I can firmly attest to this), was late that day. The ‘why’ of this is another story.

Let’s proceed. So Achayan, when the visitors didn’t show at the expected time, requested his second son, my husband, the ‘Cherukan’ in this story, to go to ‘Illathe Purayidam’ and oversee the Puli harvest. The Puli has to be harvested at its peak. This Kudam Puli tree is so huge it produces enough for the family for a year’s worth and then some.

The family used to sell the Puli after processing, a method in and of itself, and store it in this giant earthenware vessel called a ‘Cheena Bharani’, truly an antique of Chinese origin.

Legend has it that is was introduced to Southern India by Marco Polo on one of his voyages between China and Italy where India was his wayward station. This Bharani is now in our sister Laly’s Ernakulam flat.

So back to the Puli. While the ‘boy’ was in ‘Illum’, my Dad showed up at the Kochupurackal house with Mavan.

The two classmates cheerfully renewed their friendship from over fifty years prior, from the M.T. Seminary Boarding School in Kottayam and then their Trivandrum College days.

After the preliminary niceties were done with, the harvest was still going on, so Achayan dispatched Kuttan, his ‘go-to’ guy, to go and fetch whom Kuttan used to call ‘Thampi Thampuran’. (A bit of a reminder of the first chapters of ‘The Covenant Of Water’ where Shamuel addresses the ‘Thamp’ran’).

My husband left supervising the Puli project for the time, came home, and met my Dad.

It was ‘love at first sight’. For my Dad.

Papaji took to this prospective son-in-law like a duck takes to water.

Chief among the factors that drew him was, if this guy would go and manage this menial and physical ‘krishi’ work after graduating from a professional college, then it must mean he’s not shy of hard work no matter how lowly the work is, then he’ll work hard and take care of my little girl, too, for sure.

To this Math guy, who studied Trigonometry and Advanced Calculus in college, this made perfect sense, right?

What part of it don’t you understand?

Subsequently as he was relating this to me with gleeful eyes, I was thinking, who cares about this, as long as he looks like Shashi Kapoor (thanks, Neena 😊) and dresses like him too. 😁

Moral of the story: God had a plan. The plan included my Dad being late to this auspicious occasion.

All the principals in this story, Achayan, Papaji, Kuttan, all gone now, even the big ‘Illathe purayidam’ and the Puli maram, and Gosh, the ‘Kochupurackal Veedu’ itself.

But this recall remains vivid and forever etched.

Betsy, see what you started? I’m sure you’re sorry you asked. 😉

Needless to say, Saturday was a splendid day, thank you all for making it so and marking it our day. You guys are the best.

Thanks for the food, the Dunkin’, all of it.

Until next time…

Mercy

 “For since the creation of the world, God’s invisible qualities – his eternal power and divine nature – have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made.” Romans 1:20 NIV

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Family: The Manifestation of God’s Kingdom – Vanitha Bodhini October 2023

Almost three months ago, sometime in the middle of July, I got a call from Noby Byju, the Secretary for the Mar Thoma Church Diocese of North America and Europe Sevika Sangham.

Noby and I had become, first acquaintances and then friends, through my stint as the Secretary of the Carmel Sevika Sangham.  

Noby wanted to see if I would be willing to contribute a devotional piece to the October edition of Vanitha Bodhini, the monthly publication of the Sabha Sevika Sangham Kendram Office in Thiruvalla.  

The October edition was designated in full to be written by members of the 66 North American Parishes of the Diocese.  

Since it involved only writing and not speaking, and I was given adequate time to prepare, I readily accepted.  

The assigned title for the devotion was Family: Manifestation of God’s Kingdom.  

There was a 1400-word limit and I clocked in at 1350 (always testing the limit 😊) and promptly submitted my segment by the deadline of September 1.  

Below is what I submitted after many personal prayers and serious deliberation. The Word Of God is like an oasis in the middle of a desert.  

Each thought is from the heart. I know it’s long, however, if any of it touches you in any way, I’d love to hear about it.  

The two graphics (top and bottom left) were inserted by the editors. I love it. 

No words in my arsenal would suffice in acknowledging my bestie tech support, Sheba Oommen.
Thursday Shalom… 

Mercy

Sophia Marie Cocchiarella – Now and Then

June 5, 2022

An Ode to our ‘Firstborn’ ‘Grand’ Daughter:

One picture. One thousand words. A million bucks.

One Kuttene. One Appi. Only one of each.

She named him. Then.

Red gown. Blue sky. White dress.

Hot sun. Cool graduate.

It was the fifth day of the sixth month. In the Year Of Our Lord Twenty twenty-two. Now.

And God saw that it was good.

God Is Good. He also smiled in His Abode.

May the wings of eagles hover above you, Soph Kuttan, as you spread yours.

May you be on solid footing as you trek:

From home to dorm.

From Suburban Metro-West Massachusetts to Rural Central Maine.

From Holliston to Lewiston. From Holliston High School to Bates College.

Hand on heart.

“But those who trust in the Lord for help will find their strength renewed. They will rise on wings like eagles;” Isaiah 40:31

❤ and 🤗 and 🙏

Ammi

My Mother

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State Of The Sangham

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: .. A time to embrace and a time to refrain, …” Ecclesiastes 3:1,5 (NIV)

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Friends of Carmel Sevika Sangham,

This is it folks, time for a New Season. And to hand the books over to another band of leadership and fresh talent.

• (Without having to say, and for what it’s worth, this is not a Carmel Sevika Sangham email, as you’re used to seeing my name popping up under that banner, as you’ll also notice my signage is not given at the bottom.)

With all the words I have at my disposal, (searched all through Webster’s) I can’t find the appropriate ones to thank you for the tangible support and intangible love you showered upon me for the past three years.

I couldn’t have done a bit of it without that. I’m sure you know that.

To a set of parents who instilled in me a love of the Scripture as Inspired and Eternal, at an early age: This Is For You.

And to my husband, my rock.

What was supposed to be a one-year stint (really!), turned into three.

The COVID-19 pandemic, and Vicar transfer, and the Joe Biden travel ban that caused an undue delay in Sujith Achen’s arrival, all were factors.

As in the saying, ‘Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” In this case, God made other Plans. And God is good.

Having served as the Vice President of this organization for two years (under KC Varughese Achen and then Sam Achen), and subsequently as the Cottage Prayer-coordinator for four (from Sam Achen’s tenure  to Manoj Achen’s), I have always been committed to the role Sevika Sangham plays in the lives of our Church’s women, women getting together with just Achen, and studying God’s Word in depth. 

So this, in that context, was a natural transition.

However, Unequivocally, I can claim, that the net positive out of this role for me, was getting to know a whole bunch of you in a new and an intimate way. And it was all good.

Acquaintances became fast friends, and better yet, girls younger than our youngest daughter, (and wiser than me 😊) turned dispensers of sage advice.

Tech plays a big part in how any institution operates, and our Church was no exception.

I sought help in certain ideas-implementation from so many of our girls, calling them at all hours, ‘how do I do this, and how can I change that, yeah, but I’d like it to be done this other way’, they graciously always answered the calls.

I guess the stuff I was asking help with was what they would do to relax during break. 😁

God Bless each one of you and your children. I will refrain from naming.

At the Church office-bearers’ installation service, Achen has all the office bearers come up to the front for prayer and blessings.

I took this exercise seriously. I hope I did right by the silent Pledge Of Office I took to do what was right in the eyes of God.

Part of that was making a deliberate attempt to be all-inclusive as much as the circumstances allowed me, my paper address books (me being electronic-averse) fell apart and had to be replaced twice.

On Sunday, February 9, 2020, I stood to the right of Thomas John Achen, precisely where I was standing next to Sujith Achen this past Sunday at the GB meet, and as I was accepting my new-found role, I asked for one thing.

My mother, who was my prayer champion, was no longer around.

It used to be that, whenever I embarked on any project, say, cooking for a large group, Amma (who was staying with me off and on) would, without telling me, go into another room and pray. Now, she knew fully well I knew how to make a ‘meen vevichathu’. But that was never the point.

After she died, I used to sadly wonder, ‘who’s going to pray for me like that?’

On that date, I asked all those present there, all of about a dozen or fifteen of us: I said, ‘in the absence of my mother, it’s you who’ll have to pray for me’. And I’m sure they did. It was felt.

Thank you and prayers back.

I consider it my high privilege to have been able to work closely with Sujith Achen for almost a year and a half. Although I’m sure he won’t miss my incessant questions and calls.

Saji Varghese, the new secretary, is an answer to my prayer. I’m certain she’ll help us write new chapters; with support from every single one of our 103 members. And I’ll be her biggest cheerleader.

Maya, (and Viji, too), hope I didn’t let you down. ❤

Godspeed, everyone.

Offering thanks with a Humble Heart to a Mighty God,

(Just 😁) Mercy

Merry Christmas and A Happy Year 2023

“The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call Him Immanuel”. Matthew 1:23 (NIV) – AD 1

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Shepherds in an open field. Unsuspecting and Uneducated.

Poor. Illiterate.

Exposed to the elements. Right next door.

Came to them, An Angel.

Kings from another Continent. From far away.

Rich. Smart. Educated.

Purveyor of Cosmic signs.

Came to them, A Star.

All Listening, Seeking. Searching, Following.

Paupers and Princes. Offered themselves. Or the Best that money can buy.

All journeying.

From Different Stations, to the Same Destination.

From Green Pastures and Gilded Palaces:

To a Cowshed. In a City named for a King.

 To a Child nearby a community that couldn’t house Him.

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One man, One woman.

Disobedient. Sinful in paradise.

Led to sinfulness of Humankind.

Another Woman. Another Man.

Obedient. Led to the Sinless One.

Manifested in Salvation of Humankind.

“Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.” Isaiah 7:14 (NIV) – 500 BC

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From Law to Love.

The Law Is: To Love.

For, Love Is God.

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May we hear Angels’ Voices this Christmas, and see the Starlight that illuminates our paths in 2023 …

Striking Gold – A Golden Anniversary

Fifty years ago today, I said ‘Yes’.  To my father.

He had ‘fallen in love’ with a ‘boy’, where it was ‘Love At First Sight’. For my father.

Let me narrate to you how it all unfolded.

My dad, without any embellishment, was singularly the most efficient man I have ever known. To claim he was meticulous and disciplined would be grossly inadequate.

His attention to details would be the envy of a twenty-first century CEO. Executing innovative ideas was his exceptional talent.

But being perceptive about people and their character, was not one of his strengths.

This one time however, took an exception. He was right on the money about this ‘boy’ he found.

It’s been one heck of a journey, that even this girl with a penchant for talking can’t seem to find the adequate words to define. Can’t even locate a Shakespeare quote to fit. 😉

What can I say? It’s been Golden.

So Papaji was presenting this idea to me, of this so-called ‘boy’ he found.

I can still envisage the twinkle in his eyes. Even if you can’t see his whole face, you could tell he was smiling behind those (John Lennon-famous) wire-rimmed glasses, and through the crinkles in the corners of his eyes.

I think I mentally said ‘yes’ at that point. Seriously, who would want to dim that view? Extinguish that light? Really.

Further details that emerged in the subsequent days disclosed, this ‘boy’, most significantly an engineering graduate, was the son of a classmate from the famed MT Seminary Boarding School in Kottayam, a celebrated Mar Thoma Boys’ Boarding School of that era, from some 45 years prior and later as hostel-mates in Trivandrum, as well as the nephew of a former parishioner (Kuruvillachayan) who was a most respected and loved right-hand man.

In the ensuing days, all the prescribed steps were followed to a T. My family was famous for following all the ‘Mamools’ of the day.

The date was set for this ‘boy’ and his immediate family to visit.

So that Day, Thursday August 5, 1971 arrived.

Not with that much pomp or circumstance.

Well, Amma made her usual and customary snacks, but what stood out conspicuously was, the palpable exhilaration on the faces of, my Dad, somewhat in my mother, a lot in my sister, some in my nonchalant little brother, (not the least by any means, Kutti Moopathi, who was peeking from behind the Adukala to see this one who’s coming to see Mercy Mol), but most of all my precious 88-year old grandfather.

Apachen was in his rattan chair (choora kasera) with a Bible in his lap, a most familiar sight to those who knew him, the Bible with the enlarged script that my Dad had gifted him with. He needed that and an additional magnifying glass to read the two materials he read every day. His Bible and the Malayala Manorama.

At 88, this retired Estate Department Manager of a British Company, called Darragh Smail & Company (India) Pvt. LTD. headquartered in Alapuzha, never missed either.

Yes, Apachen was reading and praying. That this most ‘Suitable Boy’ would marry his most favourite grand, well, may be the second most favourite after my brother, who was the apple of his eye and his ‘heir’.

Looking back, Apachen’s prayer saved; I’ll never stop believing in the Power Of Prayer.

Now, my thirty five first cousins from my father’s side might contest this claim about me being Apachen’s ‘favourite’, but not in a million about his ‘reading’.

So, August 5. Afternoon. Big Day One.

One by one the family walked in.

In my semi-nervous element, I was excepting, this dashing guy, somewhat resembling Shashi Kapoor 😁, and in came this one with a simple button-down shirt and a mundu, and looking indescribably modest, and I was like, what?

When you’re 21, ‘simple’ is not what you’re after, right?

Moving on to the bright side: His family; I liked right away, especially his father, utmost dignified and principled to a fault, and I was right on that assessment. I liked his mother, brother and brother’s wife. I mean, at that point, what’s there to halt it, in the ancient Suriyani model, right?

Besides, I had a sister who just simply couldn’t wait any further to see her Mercama, (who was ‘old’ and getting on further in age 😁) get married. One has to appreciate growing up without an older brother to get this, and she was just ‘dying’ for that older brother she never had.

My (real) brother, for his part, I think he was just happy to shed his role as ‘the only son’.

So, it was ‘arranged’.

In the midst of this charged setting, my father didn’t consider asking his daughter, the ‘prospective bride’, (that would be me), about her ‘approval’.

I mean, a simple, ‘Do you like the boy?’ Until my future father-in-law prompted him, ‘perhaps you need to find out if your ‘Mol’ is agreeable to this arrangement?’

In his excited haste, He had overlooked that minor detail. 😁

So, my Dad asked. And I said, YES.

My daughters are like, you just saw him, and said ‘yes’? Well, deep under, I think, they understand the dynamics and this ethos better than we give them credit for. Besides, they’re just glad Appi married Ammi.

And Mathews Athanasius Thirumeni, who insisted on conducting the wedding of his grand-niece Kunjamma’s daughter, did.

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Nisha. Yamini. Mekhala. This is for you.

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So what made it Gold? A metal that never loses its luster?

On this day, Thursday August 19, 1971, Big Day Two, (Day Three, if you count the Engagement on August 12), I married the kindest, most considerate human I have ever known.

I have not known anyone, nor will I ever, this unselfish; one who puts others’ needs ahead of his own.

That’s just for starters.

“How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count The Ways” – Elizabeth Barrett Browning; Sonnet 43; 1844

–First, family, (all family), comes first, ahead of friends, (sorry, friends).

Our daughter Yamini once exclaimed, in response to something, Dad isn’t Dad if he isn’t putting his family first.

To Our three girls, Appi is, well, they think Appi ‘Walks On Water’.

–And here’s what mostly no one knows. Not even Church folks. Nor Achens.

In fifty years, I have never seen my husband turning in for the night, or waking up to start the day, without saying a prayer, sitting at the edge of his bed, head bent.

A sight that holds true, whatever corners of the earth we’re in.

Whether we’re in Siem Reap or Seattle. Sudbury or Shanghai. Budapest or Chenkulam. Kattanam or Cairo. Paris or Pallipad. Minneapolis or Nairobi.

To the chagrin of all my beloved vicars who have come and gone, we’re not in pews every Sunday, and when we do show up, we occupy seats in the back row, perhaps even appearing a bit uninvolved, but unbeknownst to them, this habit never, ever, wavered. And now you all know.

–Church or no Church, he follows The Commandment, as given in all four Gospels, to ‘Forgive’; and as in Matthew’s Gospel, ‘Seven Times Seventy’.

The guy doesn’t know the meaning of the word ‘grudge’. Perhaps this trait is rubbing off on all those in close proximity. 😉

-Engineering-precise in everything he undertakes, an engineer’s engineer, you’d love to see him park between 2 cars in the grocery store lot, exactly one foot from the lines on both sides. Sometimes I want to jump out of the car watching it. (Still haven’t done it, thankfully, I’m still alive to write about it.)  😉 Nor have you seen the black book he keeps with all the home Blood Pressure readings for the both of us. 🤦‍♂️

–To add, and known perhaps only to our girls, he’s the family Accountant, the Money Changer in the household (gives me spending money 😁), Financial broker, Tech expert, the fix and repair guy.

–Apostle Paul said, ‘Love Is Patient’. If this is true, this guy is Love.

-Never sits still for a daytime minute.

–Through it all, and in spite of it, he remains the most unassuming person God ever placed on the planet. What you see is what you get.

–And here’s the best-kept secret: there’s nothing I can, or would do, in this household, without him being there, not behind, but right there, with me, every step of the way.

‘Does this taste right?’ ‘Does it need more salt?’ ‘How many pounds should I buy for the function?’ ‘Can you proof-read this letter to the Sevika Sangham? And oh, did I mention, I need it done right away?’. 😁

–Oh, and I almost forgot, and what drives me nuts, all the, ‘Do you have to react this way?’, ‘Why are you getting so needlessly agitated about it?’, ‘Oh, come on, they didn’t mean it like that’, ‘Don’t take it so personal’, ‘It’s not a big deal’, etc., that I’m subjected to every day, and most recently, ‘I want you to read Markosinte Suvishesham 11:24 and 25’. 😢 I did.

Oh, never mind. It’ll be two pages-full if I continued. 😁

And you want to know who affirms this? Our three daughters. They know, more than anyone, that Appi is the anchor who holds this family ship straight and upright.

It is said that people born under the zodiac sign of Gemini, are easy to get along with, because, as twins, they share a space before they enter the world. If this is in fact true, my husband is a true Gemini.

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We took each other. We had and we held. We’ve had sickness, and we’ve had mostly health. We’ve never been rich, and we’ve never been poor.

With The Love Of My Life.

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On Thursday, August 19, 1971, following the Ancient Indian Jyothish practice, the five members of my immediate family traveled in four separate cars, up National Highway 47 going North,

and as I stepped out of the white Standard Herald that belonged to my first cousin Rajachayan, all clad in white, onto the courtyard of The Pallipad Mar Thoma Cheriya-palli,

my Dad gave me a kiss on my forehead (and that crinkle I described earlier was at its peak),

and said within earshot of Rajachayan, Gracekochama, my most loved cousin Anniemama, and my sister Shanti, all those who were in the car with me:

‘Mercy Makkale! Daivum Mole Anugrahi-katte’.

You and Amma can smile now, Papaji. He did. Thank Him for me up close and personal.

And by the way, you were right on both counts. 😉

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“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work. If they fall, one will lift up his companion.” Ecclesiastes 4:9 NKJV

Joseph MarThoma

Thank you so much, Achen, for granting me this chance to say this on behalf of my family.  

You have no idea how much it means. 

Good evening, everyone, 

A lot of what I have to say is of a personal nature. So, please, bear with me. 

---

Joseph MarThoma Metropolitan, the Twenty First MarThoma, was my second cousin. 

Before he was Joseph MarThoma, he was Joseph Mar Iraneus Suffragan Metropolitan.  

Before that, he was Joseph Mar Iraneus Episcopa. 

Before that, one PT Joseph Achen. 

Even before that, if you can believe it, a long time ago, he was ‘Baby Achen’ to my Dad’s side of the family.  

And before any of this, he was ‘Babychayan’ to my older cousins and me. 

How is all this? 

My Dad, and Thirumeni’s mother, were first cousins, two sisters’ children.  

The two grandmothers, mine and Thirumeni’s, belonged to the Shangaramangalam Thyparambil family of Eraviperoor. 

Thirumeni’s parents were, ‘Kadone pengal’ and ‘Lukochayan‘, to my Dad.  

I have a habit of calling people even my Dad’s age, the way he addressed them, (eg. Koshykunju and Thankama, Eipechan and Kunjama, Mathaichan and Shoshakutty), thus, Thirumeni’s mother was ‘Kaodne pengal’ for me.  

Their house, Palakunnath Kadone, was literally next to the Maramon Convention spot, so for years, this is where we’d be staying, when we went to attend the Annual February Convention.  

The house with the grills across the front veranda. Remember it, like it was yesterday. 

Even as a young girl, in many ways, I sensed these gatherings were more eagerly anticipated by ‘Kadone Pengal’ and Baby Achen, than by us. 

There were 2 personality traits about the Metropolitan that were uniquely at the front and center. 

One: what mostly those who came in close working relationship with him soon discovered: he was, more often than not, a tradition mold-breaker. We’ll get to that a bit later. 

Second: what many, may not have been observant of: he was intensely loyal to family.  

And ‘family’ was a very big tent for him, which included any and all, even distant blood relatives, their spouses, and, on, and on. And with his indefatigable energy, he kept up with them all, at all times possible. 

It was, almost as though, these familial bonds meant more to him than it did to the individuals. 

Whenever he was in the US, if he couldn’t visit in person, he’d call many of us, just to touch base. 

To hear the testimonials of fellow church members, he had a gift for making everybody in his orbit, feel his one-to-one relationship with them was the most important to him. 

My dad, being a family man himself, used to take me on these family visits as a youngster, which is what aided me to be in touch with faraway cousins. 

Thirumeni, even as an Achen, was a frequent visitor to my house in Kattanam.  

Any time, I mean every single time, he was traveling on the Kayamkulam-Punalur Road, sometimes on his way to the Adoor Aramana, he’d take that one mile off tracks, to visit with my grandmother, his grandmother’s beloved little sister. 

So, it’s not anything out of the ordinary to say, he’d visit my mother in my brother Santosh and Siji’s house in Avon CT, more than once, one time in the Assisted Care facility even: the woman who received him on countless occasions, with coffee and tea, and meals, while he was visiting, his grand-aunt, all those years ago.  

On one such CT visit, soon after Thirumeni entered the house, I, playfully, asked my mother, ‘Amma, do you know who this is?’. 

Amma, who was fast losing her stellar, photostatic memory of names of people, and places, and historical facts and dates, took one look at the red cassock and said with a glee in her eyes, ‘Iraenus’. 

Just one word. 

For which Thirumeni replied with his characteristic wit, ‘hah, ethano kochamaku orma-yillenu arandu paranjathu, ithu ennekatil orma anallo’. 

Then, thirumeni who had a certain self-deprecating humor about him, continued, ‘my name has changed several times over the years’, ‘peru eppol pala pravashyam mari-tundu’, now they just ‘call me’ all sorts of things. 

Then, the Supreme Head of my Church, noticed the Bible that was always present next to Amma, (in fact, she died with it in her lap), and said with a grin, ‘vedapusthaka-thile karyangal vallathum ariyana-mengil, kochama-yodu chothichal mathi, ennodu chothikanda’. 

Even after the passage of time, Thirumeni recalled Amma’s deeply-ingrained love for the Scripture. 

KC Varughese Achen, our vicar at the time, was with us on this particular visit.  

And in one of my perpetual ‘smart alec’ moments 😊, I asked Thirumeni, if he’d please, please, extend Achen’s stay here with us in Boston to one more year, knowing fully well the answer I’d get.  

Thirumeni said, again jovially, I can’t do that, ‘ennepolum eduth kalayan ulla sramam anu, alukal’.  

‘They want to, get rid of, even, me’. 

In 1979, my most beloved Kattanam Appachen passed.  

It was before there were mortuaries or embalming, and the dead had to be buried within the same day, practically before sundown.  

Thiurmeni, from wherever he was stationed, rushed over, within hours, and conducted the funeral. 

Thank you, Thirumeni. 

To single out certain names, Kochumon Mani Mathew, Jiju and Gita Varghese, and Neethu Korah, from our Carmel Church were part of that ‘family tent’ I mentioned earlier. 

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None of this is to minimize the controversies he provoked during his tenure as the High Priest of The Church.  

Which brings me back to my Point One. 

He fully well knew he was ‘controversial’. 

My uncle Thampipapen passed in 2009.  

Not too long after, Thirumeni who was in NY on Church business, traveled to Boston to visit with my cousin Rejini and Monachen, in Franklin MA. 

There, he offered up a 5-minute devotion.  

One thought that has stayed with me, from that day, he said, ‘surayn asthamichu kazhinjum, chakra-valathil velichum undu’.  

‘Even after the sun has set, there’s still light on the horizon’. 

Thank you, Thirumeni. 

Later on, I was chatting with him in the living room, (what else does one do with the Head of the Church, right? 😊), while Rejini was busying herself in the kitchen.  

There was a bit of a ‘role reversal’ going on here. 

Rejini was Martha, serving the Lord, whereas, I was, in this case, the older ‘busybody 😉’, sitting, not at the foot, but very close to, in Malayalam, the Jesus’ ‘Karthavinte Prathi Purushan’.  

Thirumeni, on his own, brought up the subject of a young woman, who was divorced, and she was now seeking to remarry, and the Church wouldn’t issue the necessary papers.  

As a last resort, her family approached Thirumeni, whereupon, he issued them the voucher, and she was subsequently married.  

I still have no idea who he was talking about.  

He said he took a lot of ‘flak‘ for this bold act, it grieved him immensely, but to quote him, ‘when I see her face now, and see how happy she is, that is all I care about, and I know I made the right decision‘. 

Thank you, Thirumeni. 

Story Two: we were visiting with a since-gone, Carmel parish member in an assisted care facility, with a few other Church friends, a couple of years ago, where she recanted a similar story.  

This story is not private, she was happily sharing it with all those of us in the room. I’m certain she’d have shared it now. 

Years ago, she, while being employed in Madras (Chennai), fell in love with a Hindu man, a Brahmin, and as we can conjure up, this was years ago, and there was no way she could marry in the Church.   

As it would turn out, one PT Joseph Achen, was, the Vicar of the Chetpet MarThoma Church, and her Godsend. 

He officiated the ceremony for her, with a few of her husband’s family in attendance, but none, not a single person, from her family.  

Thank you, Thirumeni. 

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In spite of all these departures from established norms, it’s time to distinguish the solid fact, Thirumeni was 102% an champion of the Institution.  

Yohanon MarThoma, the first Metropolitan in my earliest memory, was a traditionalist to his core.  

It was his dearest desire to see another Episcopa from the ‘Palakunnathu’ family.  

The way my memory serves, Joseph MarThoma would be the Fourth Metropolitan of the Church from the Palakunnathu family, since the inception of the Navee-karanam movement, (The Reformation Event in the Malankara Church), that commenced in 1835, along with Abraham Malpan Palakunnath, the Founder of the movement, who has since come to be known as the Martin Luther Of The East. 

Even as we knew him as Baby Achen, it was ‘common’ knowledge, he’d become a Methrachen ‘someday‘.  

His biggest promoter, mentor, and advocate, was none other than Yuahnon MarThoma. A protege of sorts. 

For sure, Thirumeni was cognizant of the enormity of that legacy he was entrusted with, and he carried it well, to his last day. 

He may have broken a few Institution Rules along the way. 

He proverbially ‘reached across that isle’ to those in different Christian denominations, and differing faiths, in remarkable and genuine ways, and was equally loved back for it. 

Following the Commandment of the ONE we are trying to follow, TO LOVE, is never easy.  

He never broke that First Law. 

It was a very fine balancing act at times, and he struck it artfully. 

Thirumeni was affirmed in his application of the Scripture.  

And he had the courage of his convictions. 

He knew Romans 8, and knew that, Nothing, no Principality, and no Angels, could separate him from the Love Of Jesus Christ.  

Let me recite my all-time favourite memory verse, Roma Lekhanam (as my Dad would call it) 8:38, 39: (and I can only do this in Malayalam): ….”marana-thino, jeevano, doothan-marko, vazchakal-ko, adhikarangal-ko, eppol-ullathino, varuvan-ullothino, uyarnthino, azhathino, mattu yathoru srishtiko, kartha-vaya kristhu-yeshuvil-ulla daiva snehathil ninnu, enne ver-thirupan kazhivilla ennu jnan urachirikunnu”. 

He ran an amazing race. he kept steadfast faith.  

He’s claiming that Prize From The One, as we speak. 

Thank You, Thirumeni. You just marked the End Of An Era. 

Somehow, I feel assured, that The Sabha is in good hands with a beloved Theodosius Thirumeni at its helm. 

Rest With God, dear Babychayan. 

And say ‘hello’ to your Kunjunju Ammachen for me. 

Blessed Saturday… 

mercy 

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Indira and Kamala – First and Second – East and West

A 55-year interlude in time is book-ended with two monumental events shaped by Two Women.

Indira: The First woman Prime Minister of India. The Second woman Head Of State in the World.

First and Second. Cool and Cool.

It happened one day in 1966.

The excitement among the Bethany Hostel girls, of which I was one, was physical and printed on their faces, while vying to read the single copy of the Malayala Manorama the Hostel provided, all at once.

The moment had been anticipated and speculated for some time, ever since PM Lal Bahadur Shastri had died, and when the news came in the early morning hours of that day, the delightful pride was hard to contain, and we were all bursting at the seams with it.

I’m not sure the teen girls in the Southernmost part of South Asia fully grasped the enormity of this unfolding Story and History.

Or what it all meant. Now or for the future. Nevertheless, it was clearly an electrifying happening.

It was national and international.

On the day Indira Priyadarshini (Nehru) Gandhi became PM, The First Order of business the morning of her Swearing-in, was for her to visit her Father’s Memorial, at Raj Ghat, to pray and beseech for his blessings.

On the Calendar Date when this occurred, Kamala Devi Gopalan Harris was a year old, a toddler in the Westernmost State of the Western Hemisphere.

Kamala: The First Woman Vice President of The United States. The Second In Command in America.

First and Second. National and international. Cool and Cool.

The First World Order was flipped.

The First Country in the First World was behind a Nation, what was then known as part of the ‘Third World’.

But really, a Nation that gave us the singular word, Ahimsa, to prescribe a whole dogma, is not third.

A Kashmiri Brahmin from up North, and a Tamil Brahmin from down South. Dravidians By heritage.

Both transcended the worlds, and the World Order they inhabited and inherited, and

‘His Story’ was transposed by ‘Her Story’.

Cool and Cool.

So Help Us God. YES.

Stay warm…

mercy

Carmel MarThoma Church Sevika Sangham

“There are different abilities to perform service, but the same God gives ability to everyone for their particular service.” 1 Corinthians 12:6

Achen, and Sevika Sangham ladies,

While giving thanks to a gracious God, I feel honoured to take on this role as the newly installed Secretary of the Carmel MarThoma Church Sevika Sangham, for this year, starting now.

Thank you, to the many, who placed their confidence in me, if I disappoint at any time, you’re welcome to call it.

Having served as the Vice President of this organization for two years (under KC Varughese Achen and then Sam achen), and subsequently as the Prayer-coordinator for four (from Sam Achen’s tenure  to Manoj Achen’s), I’m committed to the role Sevika Sangham plays in the church lives of our female folk, women getting together in Christian sisterhood, and studying God’s Word in depth.

So this, in that context, was an acceptable transition.

This calls on me to pay due acknowledgement to those who went before me in this secretary role, and paved the way.

First, and without equivocation, i want to thank Thankam George for her tireless and passionate efforts to keep this organization fully engaged and energized, and for a bit more than the past decade. The Sangham has grown significantly under her leadership, and I offer our deep-felt thanks for her dedication, on behalf of all of us.

I also want to recognize Annama (Kunjumol) Mathew, Saji Varghese, Molly Kurien, Susan Lukose, and Sumam George who held the secretary mantle for the decade prior,

and the many unsung heroes from a decade and half before that, whose names I may be unintentionally missing. Apologies offered.

There are also many other tasks and titles and roles within this organization, that several have performed with sincere commitment.

We are where we are because of the cumulative efforts of every single one of them. You may know who you are. Thank you, and God Bless.

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In this regard, my personal testimony starts: (The past informs the present)

with KU Abraham Achen, (now Abraham mar Paulose Thirumeni), who walked us through (in Gracy Varghese’s house in Cambridge MA), 1 Corinthians Chapter 12, and the Gifts Of The Holy Spirit, in a way i had never deliberated before,

Ike Achen, who at Walker Center, intellectually carried us through the role Ruth played in Judaic history, and the prophetic lineage of The Messiah, when she aligned herself with God’s plan to a T,

KC Achen, and his striking lesson (among many) on Mary and Elizabeth, two women in times of extreme distress, greeted each other with all the cheer they could muster, lifting each other up,

Sam Achen, who forever imprinted on my mind that, God’s Chosen, no matter what befalls them, will never be destroyed: ‘The Bush Was Burning But Not Consumed‘,

Seena Kochama, who admonished us that, making vows to God that cannot be kept, may have ill consequences, as in the case of Jephthah and his daughter,

Denny Achen, who opened our eyes wide, (as he did so many occasions): to the first two and the most poignant questions God ever asked man, ‘Where Are You?’ and ‘Where Is Your Brother?‘ Everything rests on these: our relationship with God and our relationship with our fellow man. Does it get any better?

And dear Manoj Achen, posited from the pulpit, it’s not sufficient to just have Faith, we have to Trust. Both different if we really think about it, and i actually do, now.

And Theodosius Thirumeni, who helped us re-imagine, that the first ‘church-hood’ was founded at the Foot Of The Cross, when our Lord entrusted disciple John and mother Mary, two who were not blood-related, to each other’s care.

Euyakim mar Coorilose Thirumeni, who posed to us the question, ‘who do we consider the ‘most blessed’ among us’, and led us to the stunning supposition, it’s not the most worldly acclaimed or endowed, rather a woman who saw her son crucified.

I thank so much Thomas John Achen, our Vicar, for his support, spiritual guidance, and continued heart-felt prayers.

‘The Royal Priesthood’.

However imperfect a journey it has been for me, a set of parents, sitting flanked by Gabriel and Mikha-el, are nodding in approval. This is for them.

p.s. A serious effort was made to make our e-ID list a bit more complete. If a name is missing, please alert.

I promise the future emails won’t be this long.

With prayers, and asking for the same back…

Mercy Mariam Koshy

Secretary 2020, Carmel MarThoma Church Sevika Sangham